She Who Knows Love
This painting was a journey of 13 moons within a community from around the world. We explored our relationship with Anthropas….( becoming human).
This is a story which emerged from the process of diving within my own soul.
The Quest of MA
Once in a blue moon, a story comes along which cries out to be told. “She who Knows Love” is the oracle through which this tale will speak.
Seated between the heavenly realm and sacred ground, she dips her feet into the living waters of life. She holds precious Earth close to her radiant beating heart, while proudly wearing the warrior marks of her life and star codes of her soul.
Guided by crystal visions and intuition, she moves between the veils of the worlds to reveal a mythic story of becoming human.
The old ones say, “It is written in the stars.” This is a soul journey of one of those star beings.
Once upon a journey, many eons ago, a Divine Spark was ignited by the union of two beings on an Easter weekend. Mystery and intrigue surround the facts of this encounter and some questions remain unanswered to this day. What is known, however, is that nine months later, on the cusp of the Winter Solstice, under a Leo Gibbons moon, twin babies made their passage into this world. This was a prayer answered, a petition to the Gods to replace babies lost for this young, lonely, mentally fragile mother. Unfortunately, this bliss was short-lived. It would not be a fairy tale ending for her or the babies.
As if by Divine intervention, the powers that Be made other arrangements for these two little ones. The cutting of the umbilical cord would sever the maternal ties between this grieving mother and her twins, creating an ocean of sorrow. The trajectory of all their lives would be forever changed.
This tale follows the journey of that little girl. Although she would have many names in her lifetime, for this story, she is MATO.
The seeds her life were planted by these events and set in motion a life- long Quest of seeking, searching and looking for the answers to: “Who is my Mother? Who is my Father? From what lands did my ancestry come from? Where and who are my tribe, my people?”
This tale weaves through many crossroads, heart aches, tragedies and misadventures. Mato often felt abandoned, different from those around her, and unloved. In spite of whatever circumstance she found herself in, there was a remarkable resilience about her. She had a big heart, infectious smile and curious nature. To escape the pains of her lonely childhood and difficult homelife, MATO spent endless hours outdoors in nature where she found solace and safety. She communed with wild ones, talked to the animals, built forts where she escaped into to her rich imaginations where she created magical kingdoms.
MATO’s heart would come to know deep pain... wounded by arrows of criticism , abuse, neglect and betrayal, however her Spirit was not broken. She never gave up her need to know who she was.
As the song says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. MATO came to know this first hand. Her skin would bare the warrior marks of a survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault. She would hang her head in shame and wear the cloak of invisibility and hide in her cave of secrets. Not unlike Persophone, she would emerge from the dark underworld to reclaim her Light beyond the darkness.
There would come a pivotal time in MATO’s life. When she herself would become a mother. (a life-giver to 3 remarkable daughters). These babies would be the catalyst for her to want to live, to love.
Becoming the Mother Bear, she used her courage and perseverance to claw her way out of the cave of untold secrets and face many self defeating beliefs of not being “good enough”. She found a resilience within herself to walk down new paths of learning, healing and growing into more than she thought herself to be.
In her quest for Knowing, Mato would immerse herself in the world of higher education…...always hungry to know a Greater Mystery.
Along the Way, many doors open for Mato, taking her down many avenues of healing and recovery. The Quest for Ma is a constant for her. The eternal flame of seeking her birth family and lineage was always lit. Eventually, it leads her to a reunion with her beloved birth mother, 31 years after the initial separation. ( a story for another time).
Along the journey, Mato was forced to face the demons of her past. She has to face her deep fears, untruths and tear down her walls of denial and heal the trauma of her early life. This required her to dive into the deep waters of generational grief and sorrow. Deeply buried secrets came to light and she became a bone collector of those parts of herself she left behind.
Along the way, MATO met many elders, shamans, healers and teachers, who held up images of a truer self of who she truly was. Leaving behind the betrayal of religion, she embarked on the study of other Gods and Goddesses.
Eventually, she was initiated into the Native American ways of relating to all her relations...and to the earth who she would come to known as the Mother who would never leave her. She received her spirit name (Mato Sapa Wi)..Black Bear woman, and was taught the indigenous ways of connecting to herself and the natural world.
Her quest for MA--Mother--would bring back memories of her early relationships with Mother Earth. Her animal guides and the Tree of Life would become teachers to her. The Medicine Wheel became her compass and the moon her guide. She would walked with the four winds and she prayed with the sacred elements within her each day.
As MATO embraced her dancer within, it became a spiritual practice for her. She became a prayer WarrioShe who knows Love
r for the people of Earth.
“Mni Wiconi…”water is Life” became her mantra.
Mermaids called her to the deep waters where she swam with the turtles, dolphins and finned-ones.
MATO roamed with the buffalo and ran with the wolves. She allowed the wildness of her untethered soul to fly with the winged-ones, as she sang with the birds and embraced the joy of the hummingbirds.
The Mother who MATO had always yearned to know, now lives forever in her heart. She knows today that she was mothered by many. She knows that she was made in HER image.
Mato has come to know Ma in her many names and faces. Today, she knows all she has to do is call upon Her... pray to Her... feel Her... lie on Her body... swim in Her oceans... and breath in Her air.
Mato continues to deepen her relationship with the many incarnations of Mother…. Madonna, Sophia, Guadalupe, Mary Magdeline, Holy Mother and Creation Herself.
Weaving a new story from the bones of the old, Mato now embraces the “MA” energy within and knows she is ‘matter’ and that she matters.
Always on a Quest...today MATO’s path follows in the ancient footsteps of the image-makers. She has discovered the artist’s Way. She uses the sacred portal of the canvas to tell Her stories. She has discovered within her medicine basket the tools of a paint brushes, pens and journals to express herself. She dives into symbol, color, image and gets lost in the Sacred playground of the Muse. Art has become a spiritual practice for her. With her red thread she weaves together sisterhood and connection. She knows what she is here to cause and create. Within the “red tent” she has reunited herself with her sisters of the Red Madonna. Her heart has been opened once again to the deep Feminine within.
Her quest of Gnosis has been activated, expanded and explored.
Following the strands of her DNA lineage, MATO knows the origins of her people. She knows the indigenous lands of her ancestors--the vineyards of Tuscany, the temples of Venus, the holy wells of Ireland and the ancient caves of France.
Mato is a lover of beauty and a Devotee of the Sacred. She is a poet and storyteller. She speaks the truth of her Knowing and Experience. As a medicine keeper she shares her gifts in the world.
She walks between the worlds, she sits in Holy darkness and witnesses the Mystery. Her heart is her guide. Love is her offering and the Sacred is her Devotion.
And so it is.
She Who Knows Love
Out beyond the stars and moon,
There came the One who knows…
Love.
Moving between the veils of Mystery,
a new truth is revealed.
Having broken the chains of the past,
Removing the barriers to the heart,
A new Voice sings out…
“I am a warrior of Truth and Beauty,
I am an earthling of Creation…
A Sacred being made in the image of Creator Herself.
I am here to take up space,
live large,
connect to Creation
and express the Love of which I truly am.
I am an untethered soul
who dances with the rhythms of the moon,
Feels my feet on the sacred ground.
I am here to Love
and be Loved.
I am a gardener of my inner domain,
Fire tender of my heart,
Co-creator and Artist of my life.
I am the One who swims into the
crystal clear waters of my deeper Knowing.
Sitting on sacred ground,
holding close the medicine of Earth,
I am Witness
to the Great Turning
of the sacred Mysteries.
I am a devotee to the Sacred,
a prayer warrior of the earth.
Embracing the bones of my ancestors
Wearing my skin of star dusk,
I bare the tattoos
Of my soul.
I am a bridge-walker,
truth teller,
sister of the sacred sisterhood
and wisdom keeper of my own Knowing.
I am a woman who moves between the worlds,
One who embraces both the light
and the holy darkness.
I embrace my sacred temple body
and claim myself as a life-giver,
A holy sacred woman.
I am a true human Being,
I am She who Knows
(and is)
Love.